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December 30, 2009

The Types of Facebook Photo Commenters

The 14-year-old Boy

What they comment on: A girl's picture (a "pretty" one)

What they say: " look retarded"
"EWW don't take pictures lol"

Why they say it: Young teenage boys do not know how to talk to girls, and think insulting a girl will make them like them. They have not yet grown the balls to know how to compliment, and get by this insecurity by doing the complete opposite. About 126% of 12-17 year old boys will do this.

The Girl

What they comment on: Another girl's picture

What they say: "OMG so preeetty!"
"You r SOO cute! I LOVE you!"

Why they say it: Girls are always trying to be as nice and positive as they can, even if it (usually) means they have to be completely dishonest about it. They seem to be hard-wired to shower each other with compliments, but do NOT be fooled; it is all a part of their scheme to get equally empty compliments in return. My suggestion: Sometimes if the lie is too great, its best not to say anything at all. About 382% of girls will do this.

The Douchebag

What they comment on: A girl's picture (usually one with too much skin)

What they say: "Ooh dang HOT girl"

Why they say it: Douchebags are desperate for some action, and think their obnoxious and perverse comments somehow count as flattery. Little do they know that any girl with the smallest hint of class will have a disgusted look on her face. About 39% of 16-24 year old guys will do this.

The Autistic Fellow

What they comment on: Anything with a background

What they say: "What the heck is that in the back"
"Is something in your hair?"

Why they say it: Because they are mentally ill. Well in all seriousness, these people are assholes who just feel like being smartasses about what are otherwise superfluous details. They have the choice of being constructive, but they prefer to troll photo albums in order to search for meaningless details they can comment on. Note that they are like this because they are inept at socializing, they think they are funny, and do not know what else to say. About 100% of all basement dwellers will do this.

The Shy Guy

What they comment on: A girl's picture

What they say: "..this is nice."
" :) "

Why they say it: These types of boys are the most tolerable, but also subtly creepy. They want to give a proper compliment, but are too shy to give one and will opt to go with a very subtle "I like" or a smiley face. It may seem nice to some, but downright creepy to people who are aware of anything. Its the quiet ones you are to watch out for. About 26% of teenage boys will do this.

The Apathetic Ones

What they comment on: Nothing

What they say: Nothing

Why they say it: They don't; the apathetic ones are people who don't really care enough to comment on anything. Seeing as how people who do comment are either being obnoxious, creepy, dishonest, or immature, saying nothing is understandable. About 10% of people will do this.


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